My Story

By Lorena Alcántara

2014 has been a year of ups and downs (pun intended). My 1.5 year relationship with my ex-boyfriend ended, I was hospitalized merely one month after moving to Chicago due to what I like to call a “bipolar meltdown”, my precious Siamese cat named Lola died, and I’ve witnessed the battle that my younger sister, Sienna, is having with leukemia at the age of four. To put the cherry on top, I was going through rapid cycles (essentially, that’s when you go from manic, or feeling on top of the world, to depressed in a matter of days or even hours) because I was not taking my medication as prescribed.

Now, let’s fast-forward to August 18, 2014: that’s the day I moved to Chicago. With the help of my fake Dominican ID and my ongoing manic episode, I drank monstrous amounts of alcohol and partied non-stop. This only made the symptoms worse. I spent too much money, slept little, talked constantly, and had racing thoughts. The tipping point came a month later, when I felt suicidal, and was consequentially hospitalized.

Being in the hospital gave me a lot of time for reflection. I thought a lot about the purpose and the direction that my life was undertaking. I knew that if I didn’t make a radical change, I would end up living a life full of regrets. So with all the spare time I had in the psychiatric ward, I decided to make a list of all the changes I was going to make when I got out. The list looked something like this:

• Cut out processed sugar and eat more healthy
• Exercise 6 times a week
• Take my medication as prescribed
• Cook healthy meals
• Do yoga at least once a week
• Cut my fake ID into pieces
• Stop drinking alcohol—forever
• Maintain a regular sleep schedule
• Stop drinking caffeine
• Cut out people who drain me emotionally
• Meditate daily

 While I have incorporated most of these changes, with the exception of establishing a regular meditation routine, it has definitely not been easy… Especially when you’re from a culture where people start drinking alcohol at the age of 14 (Dominican Republic, people). Just last week I decided to hang out with my friends and was the only sober one that was drinking a protein shake while the rest were having some sort of chocolate pudding, graham crackers and marsh mellow pie.

 The point is, controlling mental illness is not easy. Many people who have just been diagnosed think that taking medication is technically “hiding” your true self, and although I was on that same boat a few years ago, I must say that I now disagree entirely. While absolutely no one should be ashamed of their diagnosis, whatever it is, medication unveils the beauty one has inside. I would hate to be seen as an emotionally unstable party-animal, alcoholic, that doesn’t take care of herself and can’t control her finances. That’s not me, at all. Simply put, those are the symptoms of my now-controlled (thank God) disease. Who am I? While that’s a question I’m still trying to answer, I know I’m a caring, empathetic, generous young adult that’s always seeking to improve.

Join me on my journey of self-improvement while I share tips on managing mental illness and simplifying life.